Today we will discuss Self Esteem. What is self esteem? How do we know whether we have self esteem or not? And to what extent? What are the indications of self esteem? Like any other personality attribute it is very difficult to measure self esteem. However, the indications can be enumerated as under:
Respecting yourself and being self aware.
Not despising yourself for small mistakes committed.
Having the conviction to handle difficult tasks.
Not being afraid of people or adverse circumstances.
Having the ability to stand up against injustice.
Expressing yourself freely in any forum.
Now let us discuss how we can go about developing our self esteem a critical aspect of the personality.
1. Being balanced:
Don’t be a self critic:
The first point in this segment is that you stop criticizing yourself. That does not mean you do not analyze your mistakes. In fact when you are too harsh with yourself, your assessment will be prejudiced and of little use.
Don’t be a perfectionist:
Next, don’t be a perfectionist. Perfection is a mirage. Pursuing excellence is what must be practiced. Excellence is a habit. This pursuit enhances self esteem. Trying to be perfect leads to frustration and lowers the self esteem.
2. Practice Positivity:
Here I would like to emphasize the following four points:
Use healthy motivation:
Our motivation only decides our actions. Healthy motivation would mean being positive and yet being practical.
We must evaluate what we are going to do. For important tasks, we must even write down and pros and cons. Having understood the cause and effect of your action, you should always do the right thing.
Try something new:
Your effort to innovate and try something new will make your life more interesting. You would be out of the mundane, boring routine. Above all these efforts will help you to progress in the achievement of your goals. Something may even click to an extent that it will take you to a higher level.
Always remember the whys of self-esteem:
This will help you to avoid any temptation of doing something which your heart may seek for instant pleasure and self-gratification. Remember, this invariable leads to lowering your self esteem. It may even cause a feeling of guilt.
3. Self appreciation:
Take a self appreciation break:
Even when you are working on something which is challenging and you face many hurdles, take a short break to pause and reflect on where to go next. Remember, when you have resolve challenging problems there are two advantages
You will no longer afraid of daunting tasks.
Your sense of reassurance makes the task easier.
Write three things about yourself:
Practice writing at least three things which you like about yourself during the week. No doubt during the week you may not have done everything according the needs of the situation. You may not have measured up to your own expectations, but remember that at the same time, you would have done certain things which were worthy of praise and appreciation. So give yourself a pat on your back by writing three things that you liked about yourself during a particular week.
4. Being Practical and practice optimism:
One must realize that the journey of life is mixed with highs and lows. Mistakes, failures, as also successes are all a part of life. Understanding that this is how life goes on, we can be more practical than if we have unreasonably high expectations.
Be your own friend:
It means that whenever you talk with yourself, talk in a friendly tone, giving some time to contemplate and assess your friendly nature. Never be harsh to yourself. It will also help you not to be harsh with others.
Find the upside:
It means that for anything, there could be two sides of a picture. One is bright, the other dark. Always focus on the bright side of things. This will make you cheerful and you will be able to apply your mind in a more effective fashion.
5. Interpersonal Skills:
Be kind to others:
As we live in a society, our work, our success or failure, our happiness all depend on our skills to handle people around us. As a matter of policy, be kind to people. Kindness breeds goodwill. Others then tend to help us willingly and happily.
Stop falling in the comparison trap:
Comparison is odious. Stop falling into the comparison trap. It will only make your mind sour. It will breed jealousy. These will only bring sorrow and depression. Therefore avoid comparing yourself with others at any cost.
Spend time with supportive people:
Last, but not the least, spend more time with supportive people. In any environment, society, or workplace you will find different types of people. Some who will be helpful to you and some others who will not even hesitate to harm you. So it is your duty to identify people who support and to try to be in their company. Interact with them as much as possible. You will also have to deal with people who don’t like you or who would like to harm your interest. Using tact and discretion, deal with them as effectively as you can.